{"id":685,"date":"2018-11-06T15:55:02","date_gmt":"2018-11-06T15:55:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danielvlopes238992071.wordpress.com\/2018\/11\/06\/the-surest-sign-of-a-bad-boss-you-dont-listen\/"},"modified":"2025-02-27T15:53:15","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T23:53:15","slug":"the-surest-sign-of-a-bad-boss-you-dont-listen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canopy.is\/blog\/2018\/11\/06\/the-surest-sign-of-a-bad-boss-you-dont-listen\/","title":{"rendered":"The surest sign of a bad boss? You don\u2019t listen."},"content":{"rendered":"

You\u2019re likely making these 4 leadership mistakes as a leader. Here\u2019s what to do instead to become a better listener.<\/h4>\n
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You\u2019re not listening, as leader. You think you might be\u200a\u2014\u200abut it\u2019s highly likely that you\u2019re not.<\/p>\n

Think back to your last one-on-one meeting<\/a>. Be honest: What percent of the time did you accidentally zone out during your direct report\u2019s answers? Were you distracted by an impending meeting with an unhappy client? Were you trying to guess your direct report\u2019s motives, and running through past one-on-ones with them in your head?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t blame you, quite frankly. As leaders, we\u2019re trained\u200a\u2014\u200aand rewarded\u200a\u2014\u200ato multi-task, rapidly context-switch, and think in parallel. We\u2019ve got a firehouse of tasks, team dynamics, goals, customer requests that we\u2019re juggling\u2026 How else are we supposed to weather the storm?<\/p>\n

However, listening requires an opposite motion. Listening lives in silence. In stillness. You need to focus purely on the person you\u2019re listening to. Not analyzing the response as they speak, not anticipating the next sentence, nor brainstorming ourselves what we\u2019ll<\/em> say next. Not thinking about the next meeting, the next phone call, or, hey, lunch is in 40 minutes.<\/p>\n

The only way we\u2019ll truly understand what the other person is trying to say is if we\u2019re zoomed in on listening, in that moment.<\/p>\n

When we do, listening becomes a powerful lever. A great listener gains knowledge that\u2019s overlooked. They hear the tone of disappointment in an employee\u2019s voice and discover that person is not happy on the team. They recognize that an employee has been having revealing conversations with a customer, and they finally understand why<\/em> a customer isn\u2019t satisfied with a particular part of the product. It\u2019s knowledge only found in the nooks and crannies\u200a\u2014\u200ayou have to pay attention closely in order to spot it.<\/p>\n

Not to mention, when you listen well, you show empathy and build trust in a way that\u2019s more genuine than any office perk or team social event.<\/p>\n

So how do you know if you\u2019re a good listener\u200a\u2014\u200aor a terrible one? Here are the 4 most common mistakes leaders make that reveal they\u2019re not<\/em> a good listener. Read on to see if you\u2019ve been unintentionally committing any of them\u2026<\/p>\n

Mistake #1: You keep your phone on \u201cjust in\u00a0case.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Yes, emergencies do happen. But keeping your phone on during a meeting and having it buzz is enormously distracting for the other person. Countless of employees I\u2019ve spoken to have mentioned how disrespectful it feels for their manager to have their phone go off\u200a\u2014\u200aor worse, to be texting during the meeting. A recent study revealed<\/a> that smartphones are distracting, even when we aren\u2019t looking at them. So, what\u2019s the solution? Just put it away for the meeting to be present as much as possible. If you do have to take a call or are expecting an important message, simply let the other person know so they\u2019re aware, or reschedule the meeting.<\/p>\n

Mistake #2: You assume people want your two cents\u200a\u2014\u200aso you give it immediately.<\/h3>\n

As a leader, you\u2019re often looked to as the expert<\/a>. And, well, you are <\/em>the expert most of the time. So it\u2019s common to want to jump right in and help your team by providing the answers, or share how you\u2019d attack a challenge. However, that eagerness to lend a hand can backfire. Rushing in with your opinion can crowd out any room for your team to share their<\/em> opinion. I\u2019ll always remember my interview with Laura Roeder<\/a>, founder and CEO of MeetEdgar. One phrase Laura rigorously used with her team was: \u201cMake this decision without me.\u201d <\/em>This gave her team the space to figure things out on their own, share their honest opinions with her\u200a\u2014\u200aand helped her listen, not just tell.<\/p>\n

Mistake #3: You only ask one question, before moving on to the next\u00a0topic.<\/h3>\n

How many questions do you typically ask a direct report? Just one, then on to the next item? Or do you try to follow-up each topic with at least two, three, or more questions? Whether it\u2019s during a one-on-one meeting, a Zoom video conference, or in a Slack message, the best managers frequently ask follow-up, clarifying questions\u200a\u2014\u200aboth about themselves, and their colleague. They ask, \u201cWhat isn\u2019t clear?<\/em>\u201d or \u201cWhat am I not explaining enough?<\/em>\u201d Additionally, when their team members speak, they ask questions such as, \u201cWhat do you need to make X happen?<\/em>\u201c or \u201cWhat can I take off your plate to help you do X?<\/em>\u201d The more clarifying questions you ask, the more listening you\u2019ll do.<\/p>\n

Mistake #4: You rarely ask yourself, \u201cWhat\u2019s my mood right\u00a0now?\u201d<\/h3>\n

We all have bad days. It\u2019s inevitable. To make sure you can listen to someone well, it\u2019s important to be aware of your current emotional state and to optimize for it. Not a morning person? Schedule your meetings in the afternoon. Just got out of some crazy traffic, or rushing to get all your tasks done before the weekend? Consider rescheduling\u200a\u2014\u200anot avoiding\u200a\u2014\u200aa tough conversation. The other person will be relieved that you asked if they don\u2019t mind chatting with you once you\u2019ve had time to take a breath.<\/p>\n

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If you\u2019ve found yourself thinking, \u201cOh man, I\u2019ve definitely done a few of those recently\u201d\u200a\u2014\u200ano need to get down on yourself. We all have been guilty of them, myself included. My hope is that in pointing them out, they no longer float under the radar. With awareness comes a small change in actions. We can all lift the veil that we\u2019re all not as good listeners as we\u2019d like to be. If we want to be better leaders, it starts with knowing what work we have to do\u00a0\ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n

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