{"id":454,"date":"2017-12-01T05:19:52","date_gmt":"2017-12-01T05:19:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danielvlopes238992071.wordpress.com\/2017\/12\/01\/the-power-of-assuming-positive-intent\/"},"modified":"2024-10-11T10:02:39","modified_gmt":"2024-10-11T17:02:39","slug":"the-power-of-assuming-positive-intent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canopy.is\/blog\/2017\/12\/01\/the-power-of-assuming-positive-intent\/","title":{"rendered":"The power of assuming positive intent"},"content":{"rendered":"

My greatest leadership weakness, and how I\u2019m learning to overcome\u00a0it\u2026<\/h4>\n
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My parents were in town last week. During one conversation we had, my mom shared an opinion that I strongly disagreed with. And as I responded to her, she said this to me:<\/p>\n

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\u201cYou\u2019re getting defensive.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Throughout my life, I\u2019ve heard this quite often. Getting defensive is my greatest personal weakness. It\u2019s a terrible habit of mine that I\u2019ve been aggressively working to counteract, especially in the last few years.<\/p>\n

When I hear something I don\u2019t want to hear, I jump to conclusions about why<\/em> that person is saying that thing. Instead of trying to genuinely hear out the other person, I\u2019ve already decided in my head that they\u2019re misinformed, or have an ulterior motive, or don\u2019t have my best interest in mind.<\/p>\n

This tendency of becoming defensive doesn\u2019t just show up in my personal life\u2026<\/p>\n

As the CEO of Canopy<\/a>, I\u2019ve felt moments of my own defensiveness creep up when our programmer Matt has made a suggestion about how to respond to a customer support request, or when he\u2019s critiqued a layout of a design I\u2019ve mocked up.<\/p>\n

This defensiveness is dangerous. Because when you\u2019re defensive, you stop listening. And when you stop listening, you shut out critical information that could benefit you. Whether it\u2019s from your mom or from your co-worker, you have an opportunity to learn something meaningful<\/a>\u2026 such as, how you need to be more generous with your time to others, or an idea that leads to increased sales in your business.<\/p>\n

But when you become defensive, none of that information reaches you. Defensiveness cuts you off from learning.<\/p>\n

Over the years, I\u2019ve noticed the root cause of my defensiveness: I misread the intention behind what someone is saying.<\/p>\n

For example, when I react defensively to my mom\u2019s critique, it\u2019s because I think she\u2019s just being negative. Or when I react defensively to a suggestion Matt has about a design, it\u2019s because I assume he\u2019s trying to advocate for something else that he created.<\/p>\n

When you accuse another person of bad intentions, you create defensiveness. Instead, assume good intentions, and your defensiveness goes away. <\/strong>That is the best way to combat defensiveness.<\/p>\n

In fact, Indra Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo, describes learning to assume positive intent<\/a> as the best advice she\u2019s ever received:<\/p>\n

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My father was an absolutely wonderful human being. From him I learned to always assume positive intent. Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different. When you assume negative intent, you\u2019re angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don\u2019t get defensive. You don\u2019t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, \u201cMaybe they are saying something to me that I\u2019m not hearing.\u201d So \u201cassume positive intent\u201d has been a huge piece of advice for me.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Now when I feel myself starting to get defensive, I remind myself to take a step back and assume that the other person has good intentions.<\/p>\n

With Matt, if you know him, you know one thing is clear: he\u2019s vocalizing a suggestion because he truly cares about Know Your Team.<\/p>\n

And if you know my mom\u2026 Well, I don\u2019t think there\u2019s another person on the planet who has more of my best interest at heart!<\/p>\n

Recognizing this doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019ll submit to whatever Matt\u2019s suggestion is when he offers it. And it doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019ll always end up agreeing with my mom when she shares her opinion.<\/p>\n

But it does mean I\u2019ll widen my mind. I gain a greater understanding and perspective of a situation. By truly listening to the other person\u2019s viewpoint, I can make a more informed decision.<\/p>\n

So when your employees raise a concern<\/a>, don\u2019t assume that it\u2019s because they\u2019re just miffed about their current job titles or how long the last client meeting was. That might very well be their underlying motivation\u200a\u2014\u200abut you shouldn\u2019t rush to that conclusion right off the bat before even hearing them out.<\/p>\n

Assume positive intent. Thank them for their feedback. And then listen. Don\u2019t interrupt. Ask questions. Clarify where they\u2019re coming from. And then <\/em>form your own opinion about the content of what they\u2019re saying and what their true intentions might be.<\/p>\n

Is it a bit more work to navigate the friction that comes from assuming positive intent, and not merely brush off someone\u2019s idea?<\/p>\n

Absolutely. But that friction is productive energy\u200a\u2014\u200ait pokes holes in my own thinking and strengthens the actions I do take.<\/p>\n

When I choose to assume the best intentions in others, I become a better leader, co-worker, family member and person. I don\u2019t practice it as often as I should, but I\u2019m vigilantly committed to working on it until I do.<\/p>\n

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For a deeper dive, be sure to check out our \u201cFoundations of Leadership<\/a>\u201d module in Canopy. The first few lessons are free \u2013 as are hundreds of daily tips. Try\u00a0Canopy<\/a><\/em>\u00a0for free, yourself, today.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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