{"id":274,"date":"2018-03-22T18:23:46","date_gmt":"2018-03-22T18:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danielvlopes238992071.wordpress.com\/2018\/03\/22\/hate-delivering-negative-feedback-at-work-19-phrases-to-help-make-giving-difficult-feedback-easier\/"},"modified":"2025-02-28T14:13:02","modified_gmt":"2025-02-28T22:13:02","slug":"hate-delivering-negative-feedback-at-work-19-phrases-to-help-make-giving-difficult-feedback-easier","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canopy.is\/blog\/2018\/03\/22\/hate-delivering-negative-feedback-at-work-19-phrases-to-help-make-giving-difficult-feedback-easier\/","title":{"rendered":"Hate delivering negative feedback at work? 19 phrases to help make giving difficult feedback easier"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you\u2019ve always struggled to give negative feedback to your team, this is for you.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Negative feedback is often the elephant in the room.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI love giving negative feedback at work,\u201d said no one ever. Unless you enjoy causing people to be angry, upset or hurt \u2014 chances are you don\u2019t like giving difficult feedback. We squirm, postpone, or avoid having to relay hard truths, all together. No one is proud to tell an employee else that their work is subpar. No one looks forward to sharing that they\u2019re making the team look bad in front of the client. No one likes to be made out to be the bad guy or gal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always struggled with giving critical feedback during one-on-ones,\u201d admitted one of our from our online community. \u201cI have been delaying giving critical feedback for a long time, and it is causing team chemistry problems. I need to right the ship.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you right the ship? Especially, if you\u2019re known as the positive nice guy or gal in your company (which this manager acknowledged he was), how do you make the shift to start giving constructive feedback more regularly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve\u00a0written & spoken<\/a>\u00a0extensively on this topic before,\u00a0\u00a0on the subject, and given workshops on it \u2014 but I thought I\u2019d extract from it all what I see as the most useful phrases for giving negative feedback for folks to use in their day-to-day, perhaps during a one-on-one meeting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hopefully, armed with these phrases, you can ease yourself into giving negative feedback more frequently and more naturally\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask permission to give feedback<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

When you have difficult feedback to give, ask if now (or another time) is good to give it. No one likes to be bombarded in the middle of their workday, or blasted on the spot without just a small heads up that a critique is coming. Here are a few phrases you can use to \u201cask permission\u201d\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cWould you be open to hearing some quick feedback around a few things I noticed?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI heard a few things on a call the other day that I thought we could talk through together\u200a\u2014\u200awould you be open to that?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHappen to have time later today to chat around a few things I saw?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWould you want to sit down and talk about different ways we can both improve?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Regarding this last phrase, only use it if you genuinely want to talk about how you yourself<\/em> can also improve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Come from a place of Care<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Make it clear the intention behind your feedback. This isn\u2019t about tearing the other person down. You want the person to succeed. For example, you could say something like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cI\u2019m saying this because I believe in you and what you\u2019re capable of\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m giving you this feedback want you to succeed\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis is important to me because I care about the company\u2019s direction as a\u00a0whole\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Come from a place of Observation<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Focus on the observable behaviors of what happened, not the personal characteristics of the person. This helps make the other person not as defensive in their reception of your comments, and also helps make it clear what you\u2019d actually like to see changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cWhen you did ___, it made me feel ___\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHere\u2019s what I observed\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHere\u2019s what I noticed\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHere\u2019s where I think there\u2019s an opportunity to improve\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

For example, if you think a coworker wrote a sloppy email to the client, instead of saying: \u201cI think you\u2019re careless and sloppy\u201d\u2026 you could say, \u201cI noticed that in the email you wrote, there were a few mistakes that made me feel like the work careless .\u201d See the difference?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Come from a place of Fallibility<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget that your feedback is only an interpretation of what you observed, and your own perspective of how things can improve going forward. Your perspective is not a universal truth. To make this clear to the other person, you can say something like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cIs there anything I\u2019m missing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs that how you saw things, or do you see things differently?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIs there anything I\u2019m misinterpreting?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve made this mistake before myself\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI may not have given you all the information\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Only say the last two phrases if you indeed believe you\u2019ve made the same mistake before, or if you think you\u2019re partially at fault for not supporting this employee as well as you could have. No progress is made if you say these phrases and do not mean them \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come from a place of Curiosity<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

When you give feedback, it should feel like a conversation. No one likes being talked at. Your time to give feedback is also a time to listen to what the other person thinks, as well. To do this, you can simply ask\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cWhat do you think?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWas there anything that doesn\u2019t seem clear to you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you think both you and I should do to move forward?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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Helpful phrases aside, remind yourself that giving difficult, honest feedback is in the best interest of your team. Being a good leader requires at times hard and uncomfortable conversations. It\u2019s a natural and not-so-glamorous part of being a leader. Remind yourself that this is part of the job, as painful as it is and that you\u2019re doing the right thing by telling the truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You may not love giving negative feedback, but these phrases will help you become better at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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For a deeper dive, be sure to check out our \u201cFeedback Loop<\/a>\u201d module in Canopy. The first few lessons are free \u2013 as are hundreds of daily tips.Try\u00a0Canopy<\/a><\/em>\u00a0for free, yourself, today.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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