{"id":172,"date":"2018-10-15T09:40:13","date_gmt":"2018-10-15T09:40:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danielvlopes238992071.wordpress.com\/2018\/10\/15\/how-to-deliver-negative-feedback-well-the-4-things-that-good-managers-do-that-bad-managers\/"},"modified":"2025-02-27T19:01:45","modified_gmt":"2025-02-28T03:01:45","slug":"how-to-deliver-negative-feedback-well-the-4-things-that-good-managers-do-that-bad-managers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canopy.is\/blog\/2018\/10\/15\/how-to-deliver-negative-feedback-well-the-4-things-that-good-managers-do-that-bad-managers\/","title":{"rendered":"How to deliver negative feedback well: The 4 things that good managers do (that bad managers don’t)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A simple framework to help give tough feedback to a coworker.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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The most common question I get asked by a manager who doesn\u2019t want to become a bad boss is: \u201cHow do I give negative feedback to a coworker?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Giving honest feedback is the most deceptively difficult thing for a manager to do. A survey<\/a> of nearly 8,000 people, in fact, found that 21% of managers avoid giving negative feedback entirely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our heads, it seems straightforward enough. We know it\u2019s the right thing to do. We know it\u2019s important. We should just get on with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s never that simple. We don\u2019t want to demotivate an employee with our feedback. We don\u2019t want an employee to think we\u2019re out to get them. We don\u2019t want our feedback to backfire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All is not lost. It\u2019s possible to give honest feedback and not feel stressed \u2014 and not have it blow up in our face. Here are the four things that good managers do when delivering negative feedback:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come from a place of care.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re giving feedback because you care. You deeply care about this person\u2019s personal and career growth. You deeply care about the project\u2019s success. You want both the person and the company to thrive. Communicate these things. Ask yourself: \u201cWhat can I say to let this person know that this feedback is coming from a place of care and helpfulness? How do I let this person know I have good intentions, and that I\u2019m not trying to spite them or be rude?\u201d As you deliver the piece of critical feedback, make this clear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\nLooking for more detailed guidance on one-on-one meetings?<\/strong>\nMake sure to check out our 1:1 module in Canopy.\n<\/div>\n
\nLearn more<\/a>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

For example, you could say something like: \u201cI\u2019m saying this because I believe in you and I want you to succeed\u2026<\/em>\u201d or \u201cThis is important to me because I care about the company\u2019s direction as a whole\u2026<\/em>\u201d or \u201cThis matters to me because I only want to ensure that we perform well as a team\u2026<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come from a place of observation.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re often worried that the person is going to take any negative feedback personally. This is a big reason why we avoid giving feedback or sugarcoat our feedback. It\u2019s to say, \u201cHey look, I don\u2019t think you\u2019re a bad person\u2026\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t want you to be mad at me\u2026\u201d Instead, look to communicate your feedback more objectively. Come from a place of observation. Focus on the actions and the situation of what happened \u2014 what you observed \u2014 and not the personal attributes or characteristics of the person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, if you think a coworker wrote a sloppy email to the client, instead of saying: \u201cI think you\u2019re careless and sloppy<\/em>\u201d\u2026 you could say, \u201cI noticed that in the email you wrote, there were a few careless mistakes that seemed sloppy.<\/em>\u201d See the difference? The former makes it about the person, while the latter makes it about your observations on what has happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come from a place of fallibility.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Your feedback is not infallible. Don\u2019t forget that your feedback is only an interpretation of what you observed, and your own perspective of how things can improve going forward. Your perspective is not a universal truth. You could be wrong. Be willing to admit that your feedback, while it\u2019s something you strongly believe in, is colored by your own personal lens. Ask yourself: \u201cHow can I remind this person that this feedback is only my opinion? That this isn\u2019t the word of God, that mistakes happen, that there may be information I\u2019m missing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few examples of how you can do this is to say directly: \u201cI might be off\u2026<\/em>\u201d or to ask, \u201cIs there any information that you think I might be missing?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come from a place of curiosity.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When you give feedback, it should feel like a conversation. No one likes being talked at. Your time to give feedback also is a time to listen to what the other person thinks, as well. Be curious. Consider: \u201cHow does this person feel about my feedback? Was there anything I might have misinterpreted or overlooked? Is there anything that I can be doing better to help support the other person?\u201d During a one-on-one meeting, you want to invite the person to give their side of their story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
\nLooking for more detailed guidance on one-on-one meetings?<\/strong>\nMake sure to check out our 1:1 module in Canopy.\n<\/div>\n
\nLearn more<\/a>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

To do this, simply ask after sharing your feedback: \u201cWhat do you think?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re curious, you\u2019re signaling that you value hearing their perspective on what happened. You\u2019re not mad, upset, or resentful. You see the moment of giving feedback as an opportunity to learn and get better as a leader, yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure, all the tactics I\u2019m describing are a little more nuanced than other ways you might be familiar with to give feedback \u2014 especially the catchy \u201cShit Sandwich\u201d<\/a> moniker, in particular. And yes, they require a bit more intention and thought prior to do well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when you come from a place of care, observation, fallibility, and curiosity \u2014 it makes for a much more honest and productive conversation. You\u2019re going to get a better result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The person on the other side is going to feel like you\u2019re really trying to help them. And that\u2019s the whole point of giving feedback, after all<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u2600\ufe0f Ready to start giving feedback using this framework? <\/strong>For a deeper dive, be sure to check out our \u201cFeedback Loop<\/a>\u201d module in Canopy. The first few lessons are free \u2013 as are hundreds of daily tips. Try\u00a0Canopy<\/a><\/em>\u00a0for free, yourself, today.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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