{"id":130,"date":"2018-08-20T23:41:24","date_gmt":"2018-08-20T23:41:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/danielvlopes238992071.wordpress.com\/2018\/08\/20\/how-to-start-giving-difficult-feedback-when-you-havent-been-doing-it-regularly\/"},"modified":"2024-10-11T12:06:38","modified_gmt":"2024-10-11T19:06:38","slug":"how-to-start-giving-difficult-feedback-when-you-havent-been-doing-it-regularly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/canopy.is\/blog\/2018\/08\/20\/how-to-start-giving-difficult-feedback-when-you-havent-been-doing-it-regularly\/","title":{"rendered":"How to start giving difficult feedback (when you haven\u2019t been doing it regularly)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Delivering negative feedback is hard\u200a\u2014\u200aespecially when you\u2019re seen as a \u201cthe positive person\u201d on your team. Here\u2019s how to start doing it more regularly.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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\u201cI need to right the ship.\u201d A member of our online leadership community in Canopy<\/a>, admitted this a few months ago. He shared how he\u2019d long delayed giving critical feedback, and it was causing team chemistry problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think it will seem out of character for me to go from \u2018positive nice guy image\u2019 to \u2018critical feedback,\u2019 so I\u2019m trying to think of best approach,\u201d he revealed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His admission prompted a wonderful discussion in our community: How do you start giving difficult feedback, especially when you haven\u2019t been doing so regularly? Here\u2019s what other members recommended\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask for permission.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Set aside time to have a discussion, instead of just dropping the feedback on the person unsuspectingly. Everyone processes news differently, and you don\u2019t want to bombard someone in the middle of their work day. You could say, for instance, \u201cHave a moment to chat about some feedback I have about the last client meeting?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said, still do it right away.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s never an ideal time to give feedback. One member remarked how \u201cI don\u2019t wait to give feedback, I give it as soon as possible. This removes any stress worrying about it. Additionally, the details are fresh in everyones mind and it\u2019s relevant and topical vs. after the fact.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Give yourself small \u201cfeedback\u201d goals.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Challenge yourself to find three things every day on which you could give feedback. This helps train your mind to see everything as a opportunity to give feedback, instead of dismissing your own observations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Explain \u201cthe why.\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Share context of why you\u2019ve decided to start giving more feedback. Are you motivated to become a better leader? Were you inspired by a recent book you read? Providing background about why you want to start giving more honest feedback will help employees see the big picture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acknowledge your own mistakes.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

When you admit how you yourself were wrong, you help create a safe environment for people to make mistakes, learn and grow from them. It also shows that just because you\u2019re the boss, you\u2019re not infallible to critical feedback<\/a>, yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Invite critical feedback about yourself.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Feedback is not a mandate\u200a\u2014\u200ait\u2019s a conversation. You should actively ask specific questions<\/a> about yourself to get critical feedback on your own performance and management style. It\u2019s the only way for a team to grow together. If feedback is only one-way, your team will never progress as much as it could or should.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Use a framework.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

In his piece Negative Feedback Antipatterns<\/a>, Charles-Axel Dein suggests four ways you can deliver difficult feedback:<\/p>\n\n\n\n